Training a dog can feel confusing, especially when it seems like your dog only listens when food is involved. Many owners are told that using treats is “bribing,” while others are encouraged to reward every behavior. The truth sits somewhere in the middle, and understanding it can completely change how effective — and enjoyable — training becomes for both you and your dog.
At the heart of good training is one simple rule: if what you’re offering your dog does not maintain or increase a behavior, then it is not a reinforcer. This means that it doesn’t matter how valuable you think a reward is. What matters is whether your dog finds it valuable in that moment. A common example is using food to teach a sit. If your dog sits every time you show him bacon, but refuses when the bacon is gone, the question becomes whether he truly learned the behavior or whether he simply learned that bacon predicts sitting. Without understanding preference, it’s impossible to know the difference.
This is why preference assessments matter so much in training. When done correctly, a preference assessment allows the dog to choose what is motivating at that time instead of the owner guessing. One day your dog may prefer food, and the next day he may value a ball, tug toy, or play more. When your dog selects the reinforcer, you can be confident that the behavior is being reinforced rather than simply prompted by the presence of something enticing.
This distinction leads directly into the difference between bribery and reinforcement. Bribery occurs when the dog knows the reward is present before the behavior happens. Reinforcement occurs when the dog does not know the reward is coming and it appears after the behavior is completed. When rewards are constantly visible — shaken, waved, or carried openly — dogs quickly learn that they only need to respond when the reward is present. Over time, this creates a dog that listens to the food or toy rather than the handler.
One way to avoid this pattern is to build a pause into training sessions. After identifying what your dog prefers, put the reward away and give your dog time to decompress. Take a short walk, let him relax, or put him up briefly. When training begins again, the reinforcer should be hidden. When the dog offers the desired behavior, the reinforcement appears unexpectedly. This moment often creates a powerful connection for the dog — the realization that the reward came from the handler, not from something being waved in front of them.
While reinforcement is critical, training is not just about rewards. The bond between you and your dog plays an equally important role. When we touch our dogs, look at them, and engage with them, our bodies release a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin is responsible for bonding between parents and children, romantic partners, close friends, and it also functions across species. Dogs experience this bonding hormone in connection with their owners, which is one reason our relationships with them feel so meaningful.
With strong bonding, however, often comes increased distress when separated. This is why separation anxiety and attachment frequently go hand in hand. Many owners want their dogs to relax in a kennel while also wanting a stronger bond, but these goals can feel at odds if the bond hasn’t been fully established yet. Bonding must come first. Trust, security, and relationship building lay the groundwork for independence and calm separation later on.
Bonding does not require anything complicated. It comes from shared experiences: laying with your dog, playing together, feeding him, training him, making eye contact, and being fully present. There is no universal formula for bonding because every dog and every relationship is different. What matters most is engaging in activities your dog enjoys and being emotionally available while you do them. Being with your dog — rather than multitasking around your dog — is what strengthens the relationship.
This bond becomes especially important when addressing behaviors you want to decrease. We are never punishing the dog; we are addressing a behavior the dog is performing. If punishment damages the relationship or creates fear, then it undermines the foundation you are trying to build. In behavior science, punishment only exists if a behavior actually decreases. If a dog continues barking while also becoming afraid of towels, voices, or hands, then nothing meaningful has been taught.
One of the most damaging mistakes in training is turning the handler into an aversive stimulus. When the same hands that pet a dog are used to strike, or when eye contact meant for bonding is used to intimidate, dogs receive conflicting information. Dogs do not understand anger the way humans do. They simply learn that something painful or frightening came from someone they trust, which erodes confidence and security.
Dogs naturally correct one another through brief, physical communication and body language, not emotional reactions. Effective behavior change requires clarity, timing, and follow-through, and any correction must be paired with reinforcement when a desired behavior appears. When one behavior stops, another behavior always follows, and that moment must be recognized and reinforced to guide learning in the right direction.
Training is not a race, and progress is rarely linear. Some dogs require months of foundational work before advanced obedience begins. That foundation may look like engagement, trust, and relationship building rather than formal commands. Dogs will have good days and bad days, just as their owners will. What matters is maintaining patience, avoiding frustration-based reactions, and ensuring that each interaction moves the relationship forward.
Building a strong foundation takes time, presence, and consistency. There is no shortcut to trust, and there is no timeline that fits every dog. When training is approached as a fluid, evolving process rather than a checklist, dogs develop into confident, well-balanced companions. Once that foundation is solid, everything else becomes easier to build.
